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1. I was dumped because someone thought I sounded different over the phone. I was asleep. And I didn’t know that she was involved in an accident. Things escalated quickly. She not only showed me she wasn’t healed but then blamed me for everything. Ok. I get it. I can be insensitive when I’m asleep. I’m a jerk when I drive 3 hours one way to see you one day and 3 hours the next day or the day after that for 3 WEEKS IN A ROW. I’m the jerk that warned you of the pit fall of distance then was tricked into continuing the relationship when you seemed to have a logical epiphany and actually agreed with me, a man that had no ill intent for you at the time. You agreed with me! OMG. I think I’m going to die happy. A woman agreed with me for a moment. It was October 11th around 2PM. Anyway then I think you picked a fight with me for what you thought was altruistic concerns. I don’t know what you thought actually. It was hidden under “you’re insulting” punches. I don’t understand anything right now.

2. A woman I messaged and had been talking to off and on for a year told me to have fun having sexual relations with another man because I refused to change my plans with a friend for her. Then blocked me when I returned the same level of energy of what I thought was really really aggressive sarcasm.

3. A bunch of my friends elected a (insert adjective) to the presidency. Probably because they think giving rich people the most money will cause a bunch of them to in turn become rich. I wonder if they think the poor people coming across the border are also taking money directly from them? Haha. Just kidding. He’s a good guy and all those pennies will be rolling down pretty soon and immigrants are definitely stealing from you. We’ve only been waiting 44 years for it and if you’re born here that means you’re a real American except if your parents aren’t real Americans, then you’re not the realist of American. I wonder if it’s the color of the skin? Is that how we tell the real Americans? Nothing else seems to be working to tell. I thought it was just loyalty to the constitution and knowing some history. Or maybe it’s just how you were born. If you’re born by C-section. Not American. Crap. My daughters aren’t American. Where are they from then?? I don’t know what makes a real American anymore. Mr. Reagan, the manager of the universe would like a word with you. We should all be like Trump. Does that include the hair? I do not want that hair. End of paragraph that doesn’t make sense anymore.

How awesome is it that death brings the family together? I was going into the travel stop just now and an older couple was getting out of their car. The man, hard of hearing, got out of the passenger side. The wife. A little feeble but managed the obstacles of the curbs better than expected. She didn’t need her husbands direction. She knew where she was going. I asked them if they were traveling. It was apparent. The woman sitting in the back with the luggage stacked to her left. They have a lot of luggage. I asked them if they were coming home or going to a far off destination. He said they were going to a funeral. NOT THEIRS! He got jokes!

I followed them in. Trying not to bother them. Just watching.

We all went to the bathroom together. Except for Ms. I don’t know where she went. I let another man who had stopped to let them cross in front of him. I let him go. He smiled at me. I assessed him to be successful. He wore nice shorts and nice comfy jacket and boat shoes. He looks like he showered this morning. I look exactly the opposite. Ragged is how I look. That’s ok. I’m good despite my appearance.

The songs playing were on point. I don’t remember the song. Something by Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul. There’s a party in the bathroom. I had stopped here on my way to my morning destination several hours ago. It was Cindy Lauper playing. Guess the song. It was quite fun to sing Girls Just Want To Have Fun while doing my business. I tried to get some smiles in the store after I was done. No one was having it. Come on! Give me a smile people! I don’t care in the end.

Back to now. As we were washing our hands I said my condolences for their loss. They thank me. Actually the son thanked me. He was driving the older couple. Could have been anyone I guess. I say son. I didn’t get anything about them besides the funeral. I said I’m sorry for your loss. Then said “I like to think of them as spur of the moment family reunions. It’s not completely a happy time. But it’s a celebration.” I hope they are celebrating a great person. Doesn’t matter. Everyone is great in death. All things are forgotten.

Let’s not dwell on death but remember nothing else matters. We will all have our time of greatness. Doesn’t matter if it’s above or below ground. I hope it’s mostly above the ground. Be awesome above ground!!